This past weekend Mike and I were lucky enough to go to New York City, and spend some time feeding and clothing the homeless and poor... we got to do this last year, and I think that this year clenched my heart even harder... One man came to us and asked simply for pants, 36X34... this seems like a simple request... I work at Gap, I sell jeans every day, many, many pairs... yet, by the time this gentle man (he was so gentle, and kind), came to us, we didn't have any pants his size. His eyes fell, and under his breath, but not in a complaining way, but more of a cry for help, he said "I've been wearing these for so long..." and his voice drifted off into a sad silence. He continued to search through our other offerings, and found a shirt, and some socks. He made it to the sandwich area, and eventually left our company with a smile. This man's face shall always be burned into my soul. To me this man symbolizes God. He came to me with an expectation, and had to walk away with the best I could do for him... and with that he was satisfied, if only in the end. There are many times God asks things of me, and I let him down... but in the end, if I give Him all of myself, He is happy. I wish I was able to spend more time with this community. Maybe as the kids grow, and our outreach is stretched a bit further... but for now, I carry that mans face in my thoughts, and will continue to strive to find 36x34 pants.
In other thoughts, I am heading to Boston in 8 days... (actually I am going in 5 for my three hour pre-op...) I am feeling better about the actual surgery, though I know that the grass looks greener on the other side... and I remember how painful, and long the recovery is... I still am hopeful for a strong recovery, and a good out come! I have not made the decision about radiology yet. This is something that I am going to have to talk more about with my dr. and try to figure out what is going to be best for me and my family. I have been running around the house cleaning, and trying to get things in order... I pulled Addie's summer clothes up today, when the warm weather comes I still will not be going up and down stairs. This is something I am going to have to think about. I also vacuumed all the cob webs (or at least most!) off the ceiling. This is more for my peace of mind, and less for my surgery prep!!! Let's call that early Spring cleaning!! James is well through his third grade year, and I am not worried about his schooling taking a hit through this time. Addie and Owen are becoming quite helpful, and I know that they are going to grow through this time of family dependence. We are all learning how to work together, and make the things we want to happen, happen. Together is something that we need to work on. It has always been Mike, and I... then the kids... or Mike and James and I, and the "little kids"... now I feel like we are finally turning into the Russells... funny, we are almost a 10 year old family, are are just beginning to feel like one unit.
I hope this blog has filled all you silly followers with enough Russell-ish-ness for a while. Who knows when I will be back to the computer world!!!
Thanks to all of you for all your thoughts, well wishes, and prayers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suYyVQ2cBXc
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