Saturday, July 18, 2009
just some thoughts...
i am feeling the pressure to be right on some sort of path to some sort of goal... i don't even know why, but i feel like i need to be heading somewhere. there seems to be some internal desire to become so much more than i already am. But i don't know what that looks like. I want to be out in the world loving on those who need it, and helping those who need it, and giving to those without... but, again, i don't know what that is supposed to look like. i feel like i have love and help, and things to give, but i don't know where to go with that. i feel like i want our family to be a beacon in the darkness. i feel like that is what God wants from us. i also feel like there is a vast distance between us and God. i just don't know where to start to unravel the distance. i am wandering around performing circus acts waiting for the ring master to announce the end of the show, so i can just go home... i miss the feeling of the magic of it all. i feel like i am not giving all to the kids trusted in my care. am i really showing them who God is? am i being Jesus for them? am i able to teach them all that i want to know? "I will answer them before they even tell Me their needs"... thank you Lord, i am listening.
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Is there some way to quiet and still your life so you can hear the voice of the Spirit to guide you? I'm not good at this myself but that is why I love going out into the woods with my family - forces me to stop everything else.
ReplyDeleteSometimes God just wants us to choose and stick to that choice with our whole heart. Find the verse about the "man" that is washed back and forth by the waves in the sea and meditate on that for a while. . . it may help.
ReplyDeleteAs I read My Utmost For His Highest this morning, I thought of your post, Amy. Here is the text of that devotion:
ReplyDeleteWe tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.
What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see "Him walking on the sea" ( Mark 6:49 ). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.
God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.
God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.
This is very relavent for our lives right now too. I can't wait to get together with you and Mike- I am confident that we are not only going to have fun, but also encourage one another in our journey with the Lord.