just some thoughts...

i am feeling the pressure to be right on some sort of path to some sort of goal... i don't even know why, but i feel like i need to be heading somewhere. there seems to be some internal desire to become so much more than i already am. But i don't know what that looks like. I want to be out in the world loving on those who need it, and helping those who need it, and giving to those without... but, again, i don't know what that is supposed to look like. i feel like i have love and help, and things to give, but i don't know where to go with that. i feel like i want our family to be a beacon in the darkness. i feel like that is what God wants from us. i also feel like there is a vast distance between us and God. i just don't know where to start to unravel the distance. i am wandering around performing circus acts waiting for the ring master to announce the end of the show, so i can just go home... i miss the feeling of the magic of it all. i feel like i am not giving all to the kids trusted in my care. am i really showing them who God is? am i being Jesus for them? am i able to teach them all that i want to know? "I will answer them before they even tell Me their needs"... thank you Lord, i am listening.

Apple Burgers

OK... here it is... the best "veggie" burger out there!!! i can't recall where i found this, but who ever is originally responsible, thanks, and way to go!!!

this is the kind of recipe that can be tweaked to fit one persons pallet... i like it just as is!!!

2 apples (tart)grated (peeled)
2 cups cooked rice (white or brown)
1 pepper, finely chopped (variety to taste)
1 onion chopped (variety to taste) (i only used 1/2)
bread crumbs (for those not used to making veggie burgers... this is used to suck up any unwanted juices out of the mix... there is no real measurement on this... i used french bread, and broke it into little pieces, smaller than the average bite size, and then i broiled them just to a crunch...
and about 1/2 cup oats

all you do is mix this all together, except the oats...
if it is too wet add more bread, if it is too dry add another apple... etc.

once you can form the mixture into patties it is ready. make patties and "dip" them into the oats... saute them in a skillet in a tbs of olive oil...

when i made it i used 3 apples, and 3 cups rice, and it made about 15 patties!!!

ENJOY HOT!!!!

i also added swiss cheese and "Sweet Baby Rays" BBQ sauce... OOOHHH! (i want one now!!!)

i'd love to hear from people who try this!!!

James is HOME!!!

so, after a week away, james has returned... he won an award for being the best camper!!! (a boogie board!) he had a sensational time!! his first hug today was worth him being gone for a week... he held me tight and sighed, "oh, momma, i missed you!" he had a blast, and can't wait to go back next year!!! We as a family have some readjusting to do... it was sooo easy with just two kids... one for mike and one for me... now we almost have to relearn how to take care of three kids. it was so nice being able to spend special time with both kids at the same time... i am really going to have to dig deep and try to make sure that owen and adelyn don't feel pushed aside now...

on a brighter note!! adelyn is diaper free!!! she has not worn a diaper, or pullup for four days... and she has only had one day time accident and one night time accident!! i am sooo proud, and very happy!! yeah addie!! well done!!!

My kids

Adelyn and Owen are playing... it is going well. Owen comes running out of Adelyn's room wearing a 1980's prom like dress, purple with huge black polka-dots, and of course puffy sleeves, and enough tulle to reach the moon, and announces "I am going to marry Sissy in this dress..." then he grabs his fire fighter walkie talkie, and says "hurry someone is getting married, we need help!!!" this is WAY too funny for me... why is it that the times you wish people could be around to see your kids, you are alone... but when you wish no one was around to see your kids, you are in the mall, grocery store, bank, or any other random public places? too funny!!! and of course, Mike has the camera... so i don't even have evidence... sigh.

blurry summer

this summer has not only been a crazy weather season... but i think that for the first time i am really feeling the pull of having three kids, and a busy home life... in the next 24 days... we have a bridal shower, and wedding, two birthdays (uncluding Adelyn's!), 4 dr. appointments, one homeschool review, and 7 babysitting jobs!!! phew... i don't know how i am going to get that all done... this is all added on to the regular work week of 15 hours for me, and about 50 for mike... (more like 60)... for the rest of July there is four days that are currently empty... i hope that i can keep them that way... i really enjoyed going to NY this weekend, and i think that i am in shell shock being home again. it was so peaceful, and i actually got to nap each day... something that was a REAL treat for me.. i was allowed time to think, and be still. this is something that, now that i am home, i am really going to miss. Mike and i really need to focus our family. and get ourselves togther... we are feeling a real lack of purpose, and direction... i think that is partly because we are sooo busy there is no room for direction... it is hard having all the kids birthdays so close together, it always means sooo many dr. visits, and then if there is anything found... we have more clinical follow ups!!! sometimes i wish that i didn't care so much about their well being... it would mean less time in the almost sterile waiting rooms!!! (ok, so, this is only partly true, i am blessed to live in a region that has available, even if expensive, health care!!)

so, when you see a streak of color rush by, that was me and the kids saying hello... and we enjoyed your company, and hope that you continue having a good summer (even if it is wet!) we look forward to the fall when we can spend time together again... hopefully then we will be more than a blur!